Adding Some Glue To Online Relationships
Posted on 20 March 2008 by Sharon
Earlier this week, I read a post on Freelance Switch about turning clients into friends. In that post, Andy Howard made the point that when you work in an office, you invite clients over for meetings all the time, so why change your habit as a freelancer? I thought it was an interesting point, though I’ve never thought of doing it myself.
Since there are 3,000-5,000 miles between me and most of my clients, my approach to getting personal is different. I have never met any of my current clients face to face. Nor have I met any of the writers I work with every day, nor the bloggers I interact with daily. Since humans thrive on contact with others, you might think that that’s a disadvantage, but it hasn’t been.
Making The Connection
My experience suggests that we always find a way to make that connection if we want to. I have different levels of connection with the people I have met online. With some of my long term clients, emailing back and forth several times a week has built up a relationship. I may not know everything about them, but I know enough to make the relationship personal, while still professional.
For example, I had an exchange a couple of days ago with an editor about wisdom teeth. She’d had hers pulled; I’d had mine pulled in the past, and we sent a couple of emails back and forth about pain and swollen faces. It didn’t harm our professional relationship and gave us some level of connection.
Something In Common
I have a lot in common with the writers whom I work with. Many of us have chatted on IM and we have a lot in common. Some of us are parents who work from home, and although we don’t spend much time talking about these issues, they come up from time to time. Even though we haven’t met, some of us ‘get’ each other, and some of us are friends.
I think the same is true of many of my fellow bloggers. It’s true that we only know a particular slice of each others’ lives, but over time you conjure up a picture of people through the posts they write and the comments they make, particularly if you all end up commenting on the same posts. You find that you share attitudes on some things and agree to disagree on others. That’s not so different from offline relationships.
Adding The Glue
So where am I going with this? I think every relationship is personal. Even if you can’t use Andy’s method of inviting your clients to your workplace, it doesn’t hurt to wish someone a good weekend, ask if they had one, or send them a birthday or Christmas greeting. That’s part of the glue that holds personal relationships together and if you’ve never met, you need all the glue you can get. It makes your online working life richer and less isolated. What do you think?
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March 20th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Great post. It reminds me of the saying “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
I think there’s a more poetic version of that, but for fearing of butchering it, I’ll stick to layman’s terms.
We all want someone to ask us how our day or weekend or whatever it was, so extending personal courtesy into the professional world especially when you can’t see them (clients) in person only makes sense.
With that said - here’s hoping you have a wonderful Easter weekend with your family.
Rebecca
March 20th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
So true. In real life, we find it easy to accept, even to value, a professional relationship that also has an element of the personal. As human animals, however, we do lean on the information about another person that we intuit through face-to-face meetings, tone of voice, body language, eye contact, and a hundred subtle subsconscious signals. Online, without those basic signals, it can be much harder to build a bridge of trust with another person - but yes, it can be done. What’s more, I’d argue that one of the best investments we can make in doing business online is to slow down a bit and loosen up and let down the protective gates enough that the personal element can enter. I think it just takes learning a different set of signals, and the willingness to give an online relationship a bit more time to ripen than it would if you met in person.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Thanks, and the same to you, Rebecca. It’s like the water babies: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
@Jen: that was beautifully put. While it takes more time for these relationships to develop, they are just as valuable as other relationships.
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:05 am
Hi Sharon
Great post. Yes, it’s all about connections, which is what is so great about the blog community.
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:57 am
Exactly, Yvonne, which is one of the reasons your Weekend Writer’s Cafe is so great. There’s a lot of online glue there.
March 24th, 2008 at 2:18 am
Sharon, I love how you find ways to get personal even when you can’t meet in person. No excuses.
Making friends with your clients makes life much easier. They are quicker to pay invoices, more forgiving on accidents and mistakes, and more willing to recommend your services to their friends and peers.
I consider myself very blessed to have clients that I’ve bonded with. This Friday I have invitations to a birthday toast/roast for one client, and dinner with another. Not sure what to do, but it’s a great feeling to be connected with the people you work with.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:47 am
i think that you have said it all here Sharon, relationships are a very personal matter. I too have come into contact with other writers and bloggers that I would call friends and I value the advice and support that I have received over the last 22months of my online life.
sue
March 31st, 2008 at 12:27 pm
This is so true. I find that joining social networks is a great way to build the relationship. Especially with a site like Facebook - you can make it fun as long as you don’t overdo the applications invites.
April 6th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Restored comments:
Tim E: I couldn’t agree more. Lately I have ‘met’ a bunch of really nice people all over the world, mainly through comments and emails.